Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
