Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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