So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
