Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
