just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
