I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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