I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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