i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
