we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
