I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
