If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Pants are for mortals
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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