At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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