last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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