I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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