the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize