two words: eviction party
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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