You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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