drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
