i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Randomize
