Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
