it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
