just come out here and I will go home with you...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
