His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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