Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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