Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
