The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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