i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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