this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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