Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
