Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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