just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
