I want to stick my p in your. b.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
