I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
The dick lei will go down in squad history
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize