How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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