Screwed.edu
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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