ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
