I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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