I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
