He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
