Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
