You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Your penis caused this!
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