Ambien. No doubt about it.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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