I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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