I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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