you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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