Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
