alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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