What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
