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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65

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• (518): View more from New York

  i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.

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• (305): View more from Florida

  look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.

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• (714): View more from California

  I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!

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