JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
