Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
