i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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