Please, let me fuck your mom
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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