you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
