I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
