girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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