You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize